healing.

I have been sick off & on for the last few months... it has been awful! 


first a cold. then a vicious stomach flu. then random colds. then a sinus infection. now strep throat. 


Are you kidding me?


& to make matters worse, my daughters (& other roommates) have been sick too! (but still, not as much as me; fortunately for them).


I have decided that the ONLY thing worse than sick kids is being sick yourself WITH sick kids... this has been the story of my life the past few months.


just when we think we are better, we see the first sign of sickness in one of us-- runny nose, fussiness, sore throat, cough. or, we hear of someone we have been close to recently being sick.


at which point I feel a holy dread overtake me. I begin to disinfect the house, remind my roommates to wash their hands like fiends, & make sure to not let my girls around any other kids.


to be honest, I've realized that I'm operating out of fear.


not good.




since all of this sickness has hit my home, I've been asking the Lord a lot of questions about sickness & healing & what His heart is in it all. You see, I've gone back & forth on the healing thing. Is it always God's will to heal? At one point in my journey, I would have said yes, & if you don't see healing, you don't have enough faith. At another point in my journey, I would say that all sickness is just an opportunity to grow closer to the Lord as it is simply a trial & a way for you to lean on Him as your strength. 


today, to be honest, I don't know where I'm at on the subject. 


What I do know is that I want to believe God at His word, not by my experiences. 


experience does not over-rule the Word of God. I want the Word to dictate my experiences; in other words, I want to have such belief in my heart (by the Holy Spirit) that what the Word says truly stands as the authority & truth in my life experiences. 


does that make sense?


I'm on a journey of seeking out what the Lord's heart TRULY IS on the subject of healing.


here's a video my brother did for his church--it's challenging me. you always know it's the Lord prompting you when it pushes you to go back to the Word & weigh things to see what is right & true.


would love to hear your thoughts...


kK

here is another link to more info on this same train of thought.. http://spiritlessons.com/Documents/Healing/JGL/JGL_Ministries.htm

i'm thinking about Valentine's Day

Valentines Day (VD) leaves me pretty contemplative each year. 


three years ago Josh asked me to be his girlfriend on VD. I will never forget the morning leading up to our date. I knew he was going to make things "official" that night & I found myself having confusing, mixed emotions.


((if you know anything about our story, you'd know that I should have been nothing short of ecstatic to enter into a committed relationship with Josh)) 


I remember sitting in my personal prayer room in my house, journaling about this being my last VD as a single person. my heart sank at the thought. but why? why would I dread dating the man I had waited for? the one I knew was the man I would marry. 


I dreaded it because...


I was lovesick. not for Josh. but for my coming Bridegroom. this One had already pursued me & swept me off my feet; I was confident in this One's love & affection. I knew I was secure in Him & I longed for Him to return. all of my hope was found in this one Man. Josh had not yet won my heart, nor did I feel secure in his love. it was somewhat scary to think of moving from one Man's arms to another. 


the beautiful thing is that I didn't have to. by entering into a relationship with Josh, I was not saying goodbye to the Lord & the romance I had with Him. I could fully engage & give myself to both... because I knew that Joshua was who the Lord had set apart for me. 


I look back on that day & my heart burns. I want to be lovesick for the Lord all the days of my life; until He returns. & at the same time, I get to fully love the one He gave to me. what a privilege.






I'm so thankful for my history with the Lord before ever getting married, without it, would come much pain & confusion... of which I will talk more about in my next post.


kK

more? maybe?

today I'm thinking a lot about babies. 


Our plan, since the beginning, has been to have all of our kids really close in age... for many different reasons. One of which being that since we started having kids so young, we might as well have them all together & then be done sooner. I mean seriously, Emayah & Olivet will be in their first year of college when I'm 40! That's awesome! One of the biggest reasons is because we want our kids to be older as we approach the End of the Age. Some of you may be thinking... "did they drink some weird koolaid?!" and others of you may be "amen-ing" me.... But in either case, ask me more about what I mean if you'd like, and I'd be happy to share my heart with you. Lastly, another reason is because we'd love for all of our kids to be great friends (which I totally understand can happen between siblings spaced farther apart). 


So, here we find ourselves, Emayah & Olivet are approaching 1 very quickly. & originally, we would have planned to have me be pregnant again by now... but having twins, & a horrible pregnancy have both put a bit of reservation in us. 

You see, we also know that we are called to adopt. We preferably would like to adopt our next child, to inter-mingle our biological children with our adopted ones... ie: biological, adopted, biological, adopted etc...


Now you're probably wondering, HOW MANY KIDS DO YOU WANT?!


5 or 6


So... we find ourselves a bit stuck, not knowing if we should adopt or get pregnant next. 


We know the Lord is going to be clear with us on what's next, and we also know that we are not going to move forward with a plan unless He is the One who comes up with it. Having children is not something to just do, it's serious! & such a blessing! :]


We also know that we won't move forward with either plan until we are fully funded financially & know that we can support having another child, or 2 :]


thoughts?! I'd loooove to hear them!


kK

Sojourning to Zion

the other morning, I woke up with immense joy & excitement about Zion... I knew I must have had a dream. As I lay there, the Lord brought the dream to my memory & I was in tears as I lay there remembering how real my emotions were. Here's the dream...


I got on to a large boat & went inside with a friend. We rushed over to the windows & looked up & saw a huge, glowing city in the SKY! "Isn't this amazing?! We are finally going to Zion! We have given our WHOLE lives for this! & we're finally going to meet the Lord! We are actually going to that city!!!!" I said. The joy/excitement/anticipation was so intense, it doesn't even compare with anything I've felt in my life. 
The boat then proceeded to take us to a hotel. We got off the boat & walked down many hallways, up & down many staircases, escalators & elevators, & finally found our room where we'd be staying. It was very rustic & old & was jam packed full of bunk-beds . Each bunk had a pair of pajamas on it ready for us to put on. 
end of dream.


I was overwhelmed with the reality that we are truly living for the day where we are with God in Zion for eternity. To put my hope, anchor my life, in the age to come! 


The dream represents my life (all of our lives as believers) as a sojourner, one without a home, moving from place to place. This is not my home, my true home is in Zion with Immanuel--God with us. 


The last part, about the pj's on the beds unsettled me, but I wasn't sure what it meant. Then, the Lord reminded me of Song of Solomon 5 when the Shulamite woman is in bed, comfortable & when the Bridegroom (Jesus) comes to the door she doesn't want to get up to go to him. 


I was struck with the way our world is constantly lulling us to sleep, keeping us numb & complacent. & I take that part of my dream as a warning; to not get comfortable but to be ready, anticipating the Bridegroom's return! He really is coming back! & we are to live like He is! 


I want to be one who RESPONDS when Jesus put's His hand to the latch of my heart. I want my heart to be thrilled within me! (SOS 5:4) 


Oh Lord, awaken love in me! Keep my eyes steadfast on the day of Your appearing! Make me long for you! Awaken the ache of lovesickness!!


kK

#3 partnership.

Life's transitions can sometimes be beautiful & at other times they can drive you crazy. I currently find myself in the middle of the two extremes.


Josh & I finished orientation with Every Home for Christ & are now candidates to join staff-- so we are just now starting to work on Partnership. Because we will be full-time intercessory missionaries, we will be raising full time support. We are taking a leap of faith by going 3+months with no income while trusting the Lord to bring in the finances our little family needs. We move in to this season with a surprising amount of excitement. The Lord has set our hearts in deep wells of confidence that He is our provider & that because He has called us, He will open the doors of provision for us. We will be spending the next 3 months traveling & meeting with people to share the extravagant vision of Every Home for Christ. 
In case you didn't see my last post click here to see it!
Here is the latest video from Every Home for Christ & what they are doing in Nepal... check it out!




if you are interested in receiving our letters or partnering with us in any way PLEASE leave a comment or email us @ thekrehbiels@gmail.com


kK