falling in love with the Man

I often find myself thinking about who I'm called to be, and how far I really feel from it. We've all had different things spoken over us whether it be in a prophetic setting or just something your parents may have told you growing up. There are also the things you hear the Lord whisper over you... "this is your destiny" "this is who I see you as" These words are knit so deeply within our hearts; we can't escape them.

I've been wrecked for something greater than I understand. I've tasted something more satisfying than what I know now.

This is the strategy of the Lord.

He imprints His hands in our hearts in a way that we cannot ignore. This often results in the ache I constantly feel myself in, knowing there is more in Him, but not exactly knowing how to get to it.

I know it's the glory of God to hide, but what does it mean that it's my glory to search Him out?

This is often where I've gotten stuck. In the past, I would set up plans, make commitments & guidelines for how I would live a radical life before the Lord. The problem with this is that I did it out of a spirit of striving, in other words, it was all in my own strength. These things were fruitful to an extent, but only because of His grace and His delight in the fact that I was doing all that I knew how to do. But what I didn't understand was that my strivings were absent of the only worthy driving force... to KNOW Him... to LOVE Him. Without love, all is pointless.

but what do I do when I don't feel love towards the Lord?

((well, #1, this is a huge problem that is a devastating reality in the church. Our love has grown cold, OR true love was never there to start with.))

I've been taught to "act in love, and the emotions will follow" which I agree with to an extent. I value discipline etc.. however, where does "falling in love with the Man, Jesus" fit in?

Which brings me to where He has me now...

I've learned over the last couple of years that all is striving, all is vain, outside of the knowledge of God. And I know I say this a lot, but it's true, when we KNOW Him, we will LOVE Him.

So when I think, "when am I really gonna go after this thing, really step my heart into alignment with who He says I am", I just keep myself grounded that it's about the pursuit of HIM... not the pursuit of what things I can do for Him in order to love Him. For if my love for Jesus comes from what I do for Him, it will be like the morning dew that passes away before the noon hour. But if my love is rooted in WHO HE IS, it will be as faithful as the sunrise.

And with a steadfast love within me, I know that that is what will bring me to complete abandonment before Him. And through this love, I will live in light of who He says that I am.

kK