Saturday, October 20, 2012

minneapolis it is!

as I sit down to write a long overdue blog post, I am flooded with conflicting emotions, making it difficult to express what is truly going on inside of me. now, that may make it sound like it's bad & that couldn't be farther from the truth. I think I'm just at a loss for how to paint a summary of the happenings of my...our life for the last couple of months.

last thing you've heard, at least on this blog, is that we were moving out of Colorado and to who knows where... maybe California? Maybe Kansas City? many people have had questions for us, wondering why it seems as though we have a different answer of where we're going or what we will be doing every other week. this is not an accusation we can or want to deny. it has been true. & we have hated it. 

inconsistency & transition ruling your life is the death penalty to any family system.

then why were you allowing it?

let me explain.

change hit us fast. and hard. it sidelined us. besides the Lord hinting at it the week before it hit, we had no idea. we almost bought a house in the Springs the week before, for pete's sake. when the change hit, two things came with it, the feeling of excitement for a new adventure & a huge "oh no, what are we going to do?!" moment. 

when you find yourself in this position it's hard to not grasp for what the answer to your current circumstance of unknown is. and we did just that. we grasped. we grasped for any prophetic word, dream or past divine circumstance we could to try to iron out the wrinkles of our suddenly chaotic life. this is why you heard us talk a lot about Kansas City and California.

here's where a big part of the problem lies: we are far too transparent.

we usually share with people where we are at in the midst of our process, instead of waiting to share our perfect, cookie-cutter plan at the end of our process. I see the wisdom in waiting until things are official, however, I'm just not that good at keeping things in... I guess it really comes down to that. I want to invite people in to our process & to be for real about it.

needless to say, it took us driving in to our favorite city of Minneapolis at 3am to have a moment of stillness to hear the Lord share His heart with us for this beautiful city. but that wasn't all; we had so many wonderful conversations that released us to believe that it was indeed "OK" for us to move home.  and as more conversations and divine happenings took place, the more we saw that it wasn't just "OK" for us to move home, but potentially God's best for us.

so, here we are. living in my parents, all-too-familiar, basement. we're looking for jobs, seeking God on next steps as they pertain to Minneapolis, and doing our best to love each other, our kids & jesus in the process of the unknown.

we should be getting good at this by now :)

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