today I'm thinking a lot about babies.
Our plan, since the beginning, has been to have all of our kids really close in age... for many different reasons. One of which being that since we started having kids so young, we might as well have them all together & then be done sooner. I mean seriously, Emayah & Olivet will be in their first year of college when I'm 40! That's awesome! One of the biggest reasons is because we want our kids to be older as we approach the End of the Age. Some of you may be thinking... "did they drink some weird koolaid?!" and others of you may be "amen-ing" me.... But in either case, ask me more about what I mean if you'd like, and I'd be happy to share my heart with you. Lastly, another reason is because we'd love for all of our kids to be great friends (which I totally understand can happen between siblings spaced farther apart).
So, here we find ourselves, Emayah & Olivet are approaching 1 very quickly. & originally, we would have planned to have me be pregnant again by now... but having twins, & a horrible pregnancy have both put a bit of reservation in us.
You see, we also know that we are called to adopt. We preferably would like to adopt our next child, to inter-mingle our biological children with our adopted ones... ie: biological, adopted, biological, adopted etc...
Now you're probably wondering, HOW MANY KIDS DO YOU WANT?!
5 or 6
So... we find ourselves a bit stuck, not knowing if we should adopt or get pregnant next.
We know the Lord is going to be clear with us on what's next, and we also know that we are not going to move forward with a plan unless He is the One who comes up with it. Having children is not something to just do, it's serious! & such a blessing! :]
We also know that we won't move forward with either plan until we are fully funded financially & know that we can support having another child, or 2 :]
thoughts?! I'd loooove to hear them!
kK
the other morning, I woke up with immense joy & excitement about Zion... I knew I must have had a dream. As I lay there, the Lord brought the dream to my memory & I was in tears as I lay there remembering how real my emotions were. Here's the dream...
I got on to a large boat & went inside with a friend. We rushed over to the windows & looked up & saw a huge, glowing city in the SKY! "Isn't this amazing?! We are finally going to Zion! We have given our WHOLE lives for this! & we're finally going to meet the Lord! We are actually going to that city!!!!" I said. The joy/excitement/anticipation was so intense, it doesn't even compare with anything I've felt in my life.
The boat then proceeded to take us to a hotel. We got off the boat & walked down many hallways, up & down many staircases, escalators & elevators, & finally found our room where we'd be staying. It was very rustic & old & was jam packed full of bunk-beds . Each bunk had a pair of pajamas on it ready for us to put on.
end of dream.
I was overwhelmed with the reality that we are truly living for the day where we are with God in Zion for eternity. To put my hope, anchor my life, in the age to come!
The dream represents my life (all of our lives as believers) as a sojourner, one without a home, moving from place to place. This is not my home, my true home is in Zion with Immanuel--God with us.
The last part, about the pj's on the beds unsettled me, but I wasn't sure what it meant. Then, the Lord reminded me of Song of Solomon 5 when the Shulamite woman is in bed, comfortable & when the Bridegroom (Jesus) comes to the door she doesn't want to get up to go to him.
I was struck with the way our world is constantly lulling us to sleep, keeping us numb & complacent. & I take that part of my dream as a warning; to not get comfortable but to be ready, anticipating the Bridegroom's return! He really is coming back! & we are to live like He is!
I want to be one who RESPONDS when Jesus put's His hand to the latch of my heart. I want my heart to be thrilled within me! (SOS 5:4)
Oh Lord, awaken love in me! Keep my eyes steadfast on the day of Your appearing! Make me long for you! Awaken the ache of lovesickness!!
kK
